We started this blog because we wanted women to be happy within their own skin. Clothes, hair, and makeup can all work towards putting the finishing touches on what’s already great. Knowing how to dress for your body type will make shopping less stressful, learning to accent your features will put that extra bit of pep in your step and being armed with the ability to look great walking out the door even though you only woke up five minutes earlier, are all helpful in this regard.
But, for as long as we can remember, we’ve thought about our reflection without the clothes, the hair and the makeup. We assume we’re not alone in this thought. Actually, we know we’re not alone in this thought. We all have skinny friends who think they’re overweight, beautiful friends that call themselves disgusting and curly haired friends that would die for straight hair. It’s called being a girl. We can do better.
The last thing that we want to do is be trite, to sit here behind the guise of relatively average features and relatively lucky circumstances and encourage you to love yourself and your body, because, in your own way, you’re beautiful.
Don’t get us wrong, you are beautiful. However, the fact of the matter is: no matter how many times somebody tells you that, or how many instances you are encouraged to look at yourself in a kinder light, you will, more than likely, err on the side of critical and focus on your flaws. We know this to be true, because we do it too.
Libertee’s hips are too big. Lecina’s shoulder’s too manly. Just like Lecina wishes she had Libertee’s hair and rack, Libertee wishes she had Lecina’s legs.
We know about magazines. About celebrity. About popular culture’s reference to beauty. Continually, we are left to attempt to become a square peg to be inserted into a round hole. Today, we’re here to make an alternative suggestion based on sound logic, scientific studies and personal experience. Instead of trying to whittle pieces of yourself away, say this instead:
Fuck you, I’m a square peg.
This isn’t where we tell you to eat mars bars to your hearts content or drink pancake syrup. This is where we ask you to be the one in control. Looking at yourself logically, instead of critically is a good place to start.
Libertee’s legs will never be longer; similarly, hip bones are well. . . bone, so change there is unlikely. Lecina’s shoulders are probably only going to get bigger and unless she commits to some sort of surgical intervention, well, she will just have to learn to deal with her lack of a rack. Simply put, there is no use spending what little time we have on this earth willing impossible change to occur in hopes of looking like someone else.
We are asking you to consider living your life in a way that sets you up for success; that focuses on celebrating work, not failure and is run off of passion and persistence instead of the pain and impossibility of failing to meet societal perceptions of beauty. Know yourself. Be kind to the one body you get.
We live in a world, where we as a population are more comfortable, more accepting and to be quite honest, encouraging of self-deprecating behaviour. It’s ok to call yourself fat. It is not ok to call yourself ridiculously good looking. It’s ok to call yourself disgusting. It’s not ok to call yourself beautiful. This is bullshit.
What a pity, to spend our time insulting instead of celebrating the one ship we get to sail this sea.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
If you’re anything like us, you’re busy as eff. Working. Volunteering. Blogging. Eating. Exercising. Kids. Kid activities. Family. Dogs. You’re working at all times whether you’re getting paid for it or not. Does it make any sense, with the little time you have to spend on yourself, that you should spend that time being unkind? Even if for a minute or two. You are valuable. Your time is valuable. Your time is limited. Be considerate about how you’re spending it.
If all else fails, ask what your eighty year old self would say. You’d sit there, probably in a rocking chair with knitting needles in hand, and mutter “get your head out of your ass, idiot. You want wrinkles, just wait.”